emotional rollercoaster

Most days in my life are filled with silly adventures, fun conversations, and tons of joyful bursts of laughter. I'm talking about the kind of laughter that comes from the pit of your belly and sometimes hurts. Most nights I find myself laying my head on my pillow to a calm, peaceful rest. But yesterday was different, and the funny thing is that I am still not sure why. My experience yesterday started with a feeling of not being loved (although I know better) and grew to thoughts, or even daydreams of terrible and fatal accidents happening to the people I love the most. Then, I couldn't stop thinking of what it would be like without them, and it felt like my heart physically sank down from my chest to my stomach. Then I fell asleep. I hope this isn't the beginnig of a painful trend.

Sunscreen Song

Do you remember that song that came out in high school? You know, the one where the speaker advises everyone to use sunscreen because the benefits have been scientifically proven. Then he goes on to dispense a ton of other charming pieces of advice like, "be nice to your knees. You'll miss them when their gone," and "do something every day that scares you." Such a nice song... but I still don't wear sunscreen (unless my Mary puts it on for me). ;o)

Entry #2 (several months later)

Dear Lord,

I can't help feeling the weight and despair of not being the man others would call a man of God. My heart is burdened because although I strongly desire to be in your will, like an unruly child I choose what is not right. Please cleanse me, oh Lord. Purify me from all impurity and make me more like you: Loving, Caring, Obedient, Considerate, Strong, Beautiful. I need you, because I know that I cannot accomplish what is good on my own. I long for true joy, your joy, again.
Love,
David